In my mix of really “trigger happy” songs with bursts of energy sent through my playlist, my escapism sinks deeper in bed the longer I think about quarantine. I’m thankful to be able to say “I’m fine,” while others just my age lie unsure if they can wake up the next day. A lot of my projects attempt to cover ideas, colors, concepts, illustrations I’ve wanted to make for long periods of time, and in turn bundle together as one major callout to myself. Project 4 reflects my massive inability to decide for myself.
For my final project I want to encompass what roams my mind the most: shapes, logos, signs and warnings. Pictures, people, faces, black and white. Characters, stories, things that resonate deep uncovered parts of my brain and memories. I used a character for this project, who carries a steadily changing “warning” sign as signal for “what to watch out for” and my steadily unravelling thought process in daily life. In being able to decide for myself I end up morphing parts of my identity, posture, voice, feelings, etc around the right people, and this video is a slight cry for help. Probably. My thoughts were also muddies and jumbled when deciding how to make this project.
A lot of varying ideas muddled in cloud like portions during my WIP process. I hadn’t solidified to create an animated video until very late in my process, which in adds in my main reflection on Making Decisions, because a lot of the time I’m afraid to. That best summarizes my time here in quarantine, growing flowers on my bed with a staggering fear of making a wrong decision. It’s why I stay indoors a majority of the time, blend in crowds when not, taking every measure possible to not “mess up.” Scared to feel “tainted” or reach “game over” otherwise.
A lot of my ideas (visual, written, etc) end up vaguely propped or represented as a result. It’s like I can barely get a message out without softening my punches. I want to punch exactly this.
Originally I wanted to use After Effects for editing, but switched to AviUtl last minute for it’s welcoming simplicity and effects that were closer to what I actually wanted.
I actually got the idea to produce a video after watching this. Although my final video is very bare bones and simplified, I’m happy I got to learn a lot of AviUtl as a result! AviUtl is something I aspired to learn how to use for a very long time, so I’m thankful I made the decision to push into it.
Thank you for enabling me to reflect internal corners (of myself, my art, stories and characters) I’ve never touched on before 2D. This is the furthest I’ve explored myself in a very long time.
note: 673 is one of my favorite numbers. It’s randomly chosen and has no meaning aside from jokes I make with it.
nemo 